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Topic: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day (6/6 (Read 363 times) |
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emarquez1
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Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day (6/6
« on: Jul 5th, 2005, 7:41pm » |
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Question:
What are your feelings about taking a child to a funural.I think I want to take my 4yr old, she met my grandpa a few times, but I doubt she really knows who he is. What are your feelings about it? Funural is tomorrow morning.
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As some of you read a few weeks back, I lost my granpa from my mom's side of the family, at the same time, my other grandpa from my dad'd side was in the hospital, he had a tumor from his throat removed. To make things short, he finanaly past yesterday. Even though it is sad news, i feel sorta better. He was sufferring alot, and it hurt alot to go visit him, he was kept asleep most of the time,but he would still choke and jerk around, very painful to watch.
He was blind for the past 20 years or so, when I was born, I was a fuzzy image to him. Just that itself was tough, having to live your life blind. And I believe that for the 1st time ever, he is able to see me (all of us aswell).
Financially, we are only getting worse, nobody is calling us for work. I've applied at places I never would have before. I do not know what to do anymore.
It's one thing to be financially drained, but when you add emotionally drained, it becomes to hard to handle at times.
And I have to much pride to get on welfare, but I think I need to putm y pride aside and do it. Besides I have worked long and hard, might as well put them taxes I paid to use.
thanks for listening
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| « Last Edit: Jul 6th, 2005, 10:00pm by emarquez1 » |
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Erika
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MuskokaMom
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I love candletech.com!
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #1 on: Jul 5th, 2005, 9:26pm » |
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Erika, I hope things start to look up for you. My DH is looking for work right now and thanks to the support from my friends here, I am trying to keep a positive atttiude. You have to do whatever you can to keep your head above water. If applying for assistance for now helps you out than take advantage of it. There are times in our lives where we need to set aside our pride and take what others offer. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sharon
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Freezin
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Break up on the Yukon
Posts: 1211
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #2 on: Jul 5th, 2005, 9:46pm » |
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Man, when it rains it pours. I know I have been feeling the strain of bunch of stuff lately. DH and I don't seem to be able to see eye to eye on things sometimes. But, I know that it will get better. It will for you too, just hand in there!
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Lolas_Lights
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I love candletech.com!
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #3 on: Jul 5th, 2005, 11:02pm » |
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So sorry about your grandpa. Hang in there sweetie. My prayers are with you. And please ask for assistance, we all pay taxes for years and it's there for us when things get bad. I know I've been there. When DH first got disabled all I could find was part time work and I was just like you, I didn't want to take any help but I finally had to sign up for food stamps, that was the only way to feed our family. Don't ever be ashamed that you need help. We all fall on hard times sometimes and it doesn't make you any less of a person just because things have gotten bad.Great big hugs for you and yours.
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John 3:16,17
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Michi
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #4 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 8:51am » |
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First of all, sorry to hear about the loss of both of your grandfathers.  It sounds as though you've found peace with it and that is good-they are in a much better place now with no suffering. ((hugs))
I've been in terrible financial straits as it seems you're going through, and took myself down to the social services office and applied for whatever we were eligible for. After all, we REALLY needed the assistance, and like you said, we pay into that every year with our taxes etc. Why shouldn't we use it??!!
Please don't be too proud, I felt embarrassed to do it myself, but I kept thinking about my family, and knew I had to do it. Having the medical and the food stamps and the financial aid helped out tremendously, I truly think that is the only reason we didn't lose our house.
My husband was out of work for 9 months and it was devastating, but we did eventually get through it, as I'm sure you and your family will as well.
I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
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My husband said if I buy anymore candle supplies, he'll leave me....I'll miss him!!
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carmen3032
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #5 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 9:16am » |
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I'm sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad to ask for help, It's assistance for those that need it, I was in that situation a few times myself. yes it is a bit aggravating that one has to resort to it, but think of those that are using and abusing it and don't have a care in the world about it. You do what you have to do to get through it. things will look up soon. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Carmen
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dzeyez
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"2 God B the Glory!!!"
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #6 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 10:50am » |
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1st off God Bless you and your's. I know it's a bit much to take sometime "But to Die is Gain". What a wonderful place you're grandfathers are right now. This earth is hell!! But we must pass through it. Keep your head up and stay in prayer. The Lord won't give you anything you can't handle. Take the assistance, that's what it's there for. Everything happens for a reason..
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AngieM
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #7 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 11:08am » |
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just sending ya a <<<big hug>>>
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"It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt."
--Abraham Lincoln
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emarquez1
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Posts: 204
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #8 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 12:31pm » |
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thanks guys
but I think I nedd a real hug....
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| « Last Edit: Jul 6th, 2005, 12:31pm by emarquez1 » |
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Erika
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Terrie
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I ran out of cutesy avatars
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us
« Reply #9 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 12:57pm » |
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Sorry to hear things are so bad for you right now.  Sending big ((hugs)) for you.
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MY MOTTO: PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT!
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emarquez1
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Posts: 204
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #10 on: Jul 6th, 2005, 10:01pm » |
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bump with a question, see original post. thanks
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Erika
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Scented
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Got mouse anyone?
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #11 on: Jul 7th, 2005, 9:44am » |
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In regards to the funeral, I don't see anything wrong with it. What issues, if any, are you having? I was 4 or 5 when I went to my great grandfather's funeral.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away.
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Melly
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #12 on: Jul 7th, 2005, 1:33pm » |
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I would definatly take a 4 year old to a furneral, death is a fact of life. I would definatly sit down with your child and expalain what is happening first, allow them to ask any questions , explain proper behaviour ect. If they seemed uncomfterble before going or shortly after arriving, I would leave them at home or remove them. Each child will deal with it differntly, my grandfather died, my 3 and 4 year old cousins were fine with it. However, my neighbors went as kids and had alot of problems with nightmares afterwards. You know your child, and your family, go with what you feel is right.
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Jenniejr
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Mystic Scents
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #13 on: Jul 7th, 2005, 2:14pm » |
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I'm sorry for your loss and the hard time you are having right now. {{{HUG}}}
I see nothing wrong with taking a child to a funeral. One of my daughters good friends died 3 weeks ago. He had Lukemia for a ltiile over a year ..... and didn't make it. She was very upset; sad; angry and confused. I took her to the viewing and the funeral because I thought it would help her out. It did. She was able to see that he looked okay (unlike what a child would expect when they think of death) and was able to say good-bye in her own way. She was very quiet the next day, but that evening she thanked me for taking her. She said she was happy knowing that he was "okay" and that it was nothing like the terrible things she had imagined. She said being there gave her a sense of peace about his life and the fact that he will be with God.( btw: my daughter just turned 7. ) hth
I hope you find some peace through all of this and that things start looking up for you soon. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. {{{HUG}}}
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kjbrook
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Ansel Adams Rose and Driftwood
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #14 on: Jul 7th, 2005, 7:56pm » |
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My personal opinion here, I don't think a 4 year old should go to a funeral. I was forced to take mine to my grandmothers funeral. We sat in the very back because it was open casket. I didn't want him to see her and cause a scene. He knew she died, but that was all. He really had no idea why we were there. Thank goodness. He adored his great grandma and would have screamed and cried, I can't imagine what all he might have done. I just kept him busy and behind some really tall people. He still hasn't asked what happens to a person's body when they die. He just knows that their spirit goes to heaven. The little guy has had so many loved ones die, I didn't want to burden his little heart more than it had to be.
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Wax and a wick, what's so hard about that.
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emarquez1
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Posts: 204
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #15 on: Jul 7th, 2005, 9:06pm » |
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I did take her after all, I just got her ready in the morning and told her that we were going togo see my granpa. We got to the funural home and had her wait outside when I went to say my last goodbye to him and she didn't even qustion me when I got out and had tears in my eyes (she ALWAYS asks why I am crying if she ever catches me, or if I am upset). On the way there, she made a card for my grandpa (a bunch of scribble and stick people - me, her, her sister, grandpa, and my sisters)which I left on his grave. When we arrived at the cemetary, and she seen the flowers on peoples graves and said "Those flowers are sad, they make me cry".... Also when we left the funural home, she said "I'm gonna miss him"... but the weirdest thing was that I NEVER told her that my granpa was dead and nobody told her anything. She just knew.
having her with me was good. I was his only grand-daughter, they didn't even have a daughter and my baby was their 1st great grand kid. I was just expecting her to act totally different.
thanks guys
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Erika
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snowcow
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Tell your cats about the dangers of catnip!
 
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Re: Things refuse to look up for us -? ADDED 2day
« Reply #16 on: Jul 8th, 2005, 8:57am » |
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big hugs to you! glad to hear you are working through this difficult time in a way that fits you and your family.
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